It's come to my attention that there's some murmuring amongst all yooz readers that I should "just get rid of my dog" and "why do you own a dog then if you hate them so much?".
First of all, for the millionth time: IT'S NOT MY DOG! Believe me, I would not be so fucking stupid as to own an animal I hate. It's sheer misery as well as complete stupidity! It belongs to G.F. and we own a house together. Now, G.F. absolutely refuses to shitcan that friggin' defective dog, and believe me, we constantly fight about it. Bottom line is this, folks: I WILL NOT BE RUN OUT OF MY OWN HOME BY A GODDAMN DOG! If someone's going, it's that asshole DOG, goddamn it! Every single day I try to think of some way to get rid of it. I am So, So sick of the stink, the noise, the filth... you have no idea. The thing stinks, it's fucking up the house, it's destructive, it's useless, and it's neurotic, incessant barking has made us no friends. One of these nights the neighborhood's going to surround the place with torches and pitchforks, maaaaaan!
So to reiterate:
(1) IT IS NOT MY DOG.
(2) I WANT TO GET RID OF IT SO BAD I'M GETTING ULCERS OVER IT.
(3) I REFUSE TO BE RUN OUT OF MY OWN HOME BY A DOG.