This has got to be the Incident Of the Year: I'm hanging out on my porch the other day. The neighbors across the way who have one of those shitty little furry varmint-type dogs have company: a couple and this huge fucking rottwiler (yeah the spelling's wrong, but it's a dog -- who gives a shit?). I guess the dude's some wannabee tuffguy - But he got castrated by his momma or his woman or both so he makes up for it with a dog, you know they type. Dumb as a stump too as you'll see.
Anyways... This tiny dog and the rott are playing in the yard while the folks are hanging out talking. So they get to going inside and that moron tuffguy somehow attaches the little fucker to the now resting big-ass dog's collar with a cord of some kind, about fifteen feet or so long.
Wouldn't you know it...This is so hard to write, I'm STILL dying laughing...The lady opens the door to go in, and the cat runs out the door, sees the rott and takes off thru the hedge and down the street like it's on fucking fire! The rott sees the cat and of course TAKES OFF like a SHOT after it!!! O my GOD !!! I couldn't believe it! it was like a Warner Brothers cartoon!!! The little dog is standing there like an ass watching the commotion until the slack is all taken up, then WHAMMO! he gets taken on the ride of his miserable little life!! That dog is literally SAILING thru the air, bouncing, off the ground, pulled thru the hedge, dragged down the street, whacking off of stuff, scrabbling to right itself, pulled full-blast by that fucking rott-dog!!! Meanwhile all four of the people are runnign after the dogs yeling and the lady screaming MY DOG! MY DOG!! And the Stupid fucking idiot tuffguy yelling BUZZBEE STOP !! BUZZBEE HALT!! at the top of his lungs! Of course the dog doesn't listen-they never fucking listen. Probably spent hundreds on obedience training. Shitload of good it did. Holey SHIIIT maaaaaan! If I had a video camera I'd have won the Funniest Home Video show! Anyway, I don't know what happened, They didn't come back for a while and I had to go out so I dunno when they got back, or if they still have that useless fucking rat-dog, or what. But it was the single most hysterically funny thing I've ever seen!
I hope it's made your day, too.
I HAAATE DOGGGSSS!